|Thank You my sweet Dave, for being my everything and more. I couldn't do this without you.|
Recently I have received so many emails, phone calls, facebook messages, and text messages from people asking for help. People wanting support for what they are going through. Although they may not be going through exactly what I went through, because I understand that each circumstance is different, everyone needs support.
One of the greatest things I had while going through this process was the love of family and friends. I had so much support, and continue to have so much. When I think of someone that needs support, the first person I think of is my sweet Dave. There were always people there for me to talk to, for me to lean on, and people there to cheer me up, but when Dave needed someone to lean on he didn't have anyone. We so often forget about the caregiver and just focus on the person who needs the giving. I wish so much that I could give a voice to the people who are the ones behind the scenes. The person who holds your head up while your sick in the middle of the night, the person who drives the car to the ER in the middle of the night, the person who waits in the waiting room while you're having surgery, what about them? Who is there for them when they need it?
Dave and I have spent many nights talking about what it was like for him. What it was like to have your wife dying after a month of marriage, and not knowing what to do. Going through things that you had never imagined you would ever go through, and not having any idea what to do about it. The only thing he knew to do was to put on the strong face, get up and go to school, and then come home and be there for me. Never once did my husband complain about hospital trips, or staying up through the night with me, or the endless doctor appointments. Never did he complain about sleeping on a hospital couch and then having a full day at school, he never complained about the 2 hour trip to and from our house everyday, he didn't whine when I needed a shower and was too weak to do it myself, so he had to help me. He has told me in years since that he cherished those moments. Some of them were really hard, and when he felt like he just couldn't do it anymore he would fall to his knees and just beg God to not take his wife. He would beg to just have one more day with me. Why I was crying because I hurt, or hadn't eaten in days, and I was begging God to help me feel better, Dave was begging God to keep me around. Still, his every thought of every day was focused on me.
I'm not saying that I didn't deserve Dave's love, because I know without it I wouldn't have survived. I just want to take a minute to remind each of us to remember the person in the background. The person who is the caregiver. It's so easy to focus on the one who is saying they hurt, and forget about the other people are hurting just as much, just in a different way. Thank your caregivers, your nurse's, doctor's, family who provides support, but doesn't ask for any in return. Remember the people who make it bearable to live through the tough things that you go through.
I know Dave didn't have anyone but God while I was sick, and I can't thank him enough; but I hope other people in his situation won't have to go through it alone. I hope your caregiver has someone to talk to, someone to cry to, and someone to lift them up just like they do for you. I personally want to say thank you, to each of you who graciously give of yourself, give everything that you have, to take care of someone you love, without expecting anything in return. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as are so many others that you will never know. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Without you, people like me wouldn't be here.