Nov 23, 2009

More Tests

This weekend has been exhausting. I was able to go get some fluids at the hospital and that gave me a little strength. I called the Doctor this morning and they are going to do an upper GI series, CT scan, check my liver, check my pancreas, and do some blood work.
My Doctor came right out today and said he has no idea what is going on, so we're just going to test until we figure it out. It's a little disappointing to hear that he has no idea what is going on. In fact it makes my heart drop a little. I had a good cry last night and this morning.
I don't know why I am going through this trial right now. I don't know why my body doesn't want to work, and I don't understand why no Doctor knows what is wrong with me, But I do know that they will figure it out. I know I will be healed. I know I will be able to live life again normally. Someone, somewhere is going to figure out why. I have faith that Heavenly Father knows my trials and my heart and is going to heal me. Whatever he feels is right is going to happen. Until that day, I am going to live each day to the fullest.
It doesn't matter that I keep losing weight, it doesn't matter that I can't eat, and it doesn't matter that I can't sleep and hurt all the time. I'm going to go to movies, I'm going to go to football games, I'm going to enjoy the Holidays, I'm going to spend as much time as I can with my husband, I'm going to go on dates, I'm going to go see my sister in Oklahoma, I'm going to spend time with my family, I'm going to decorate my Christmas tree, I'm going to clean my house, cook my husband dinner, go grocery shopping, put my make-up on, wear cute outfits, and I'm going to feel as good as I possibly can while going through this. Hey, I might even go see my Grandma Margaret.
I know my Heavenly Father is there. I know he hears my prayers. I know he understands what I am going through. I know he sees my desire to fight and stay positive everyday. I know he blesses me. I know he is going to make me better.
Thank you to all of you for your love and support why I go through this. Thank you to my amazing Husband Dave, I couldn't do this without you by my side. I couldn't do this without you holding my hand. Thank you to my Mom and Dad for loving me and doing all you do for Dave and me. You make it easier to live. I love your visits and I love your hugs and kisses. Nothing beats a kiss from my Dad!
Please continue to pray for Dave. He needs the support, and strength a lot more than I do right now. Please pray for my Husband.
I love you all so much! Hopefully today will go well and I will get some answers!! Once again, I'm out, but I'll keep you updated!


The Walker's said...

You have such a great perspective Jill, and always stay so positive. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this trial right now. I have to admit I laughed when I read the part about you will "maybe even go visit your Grandma Margaret" ;) I still remember going to your birthday party, we couldn't have been older than like 10 years old or something, and your Grandma gave you a birthday card that was for like a 2 year old or something and she just put a sticker over the! Let me know if you need anything sweetie :)

Briana said...

You are such an amazing person. Such an inspiring spirit!