Nov 3, 2009


Well the Doctor's don't know what is wrong with me, and why I am not able to keep down any food. I go in for an exploratory surgery tomorrow morning at 7. I will admit I am terrified. I am just expecting the worse. I am worried that I am going to go through what I went through this summer and I am terrified. I have been crying all night. I can't seem to get the worst possible scenario out of my head. I know things will go smoothly and I will be just find because Dave gave me a blessing letting me know that, but I am still scared. Please say a prayer for me if you get a chance. I go into LDS Hospital at 7am and have am scheduled for surgery at 7:15am. We'll see how it goes. I am hoping they will fix me and get me feeling better and finally figure out what is wrong with me and why I am not able to eat. I'm exhausted and weak, and ready to not feel sick anymore. I'm also ready to stop throwing up. My mom is taking care of me because it is Dave's mid-terms and I need him to focus on that and not worry about his wife. I know that sounds impossible but he has to do it. I need my husband to focus on his school and his straight A's that he is pulling right now, and I have to feel better.
Out of everything that is bothering me the number 1 thing that is bothering me is that Dave will not have someone to make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I am devastated that I will not be here to take care of my husband. I'm crushed and I can't stop crying. My heart aches that I am not going to be with Dave. I'm devastated that I am going to be staying in the Hospital without him. Oh well, as long as he focuses on his school I will feel much better.
Okay I am going to try to get a few hours of sleep before I have to leave for the Hospital. Praise the world for my mom and that she doesn't work so she will be able to take care of me while my husband is taking care of our family.
I'm going to be okay. I'm going to survive this. They are going to find out what is wrong and for once I am going to start feeling better. Life has to get better. My health has to start improving because I don't think it can get any worse. :) I'll keep you updated while I'm in the Hospital. If you want to come visit me I would love it, just call first. Call LDS Hospital and ask for Jill Strasburg's room. 801-408-1100. Love you all!!
Jilli Strasburg