Mar 28, 2012

A trip to my Favorite Hospital

I know that kind of sounds like a crazy title.  Let's be honest, who really has a favorite hospital?  But, when you have been to as many as I have, you tend to find the one you like the most.  

This morning I had an endoscopy scheduled at LDS hospital in Salt Lake.  I have a very fond spot in my heart for this hospital because I spent over a month there in 2009 when I almost lost my life.  Today was just a quick visit with my favorite Doctor (who just happened to be the doctor to save my life at that hospital).  As I was sitting in the waiting room with my darling husband, a nurse came in to put in my IV.  I recognized her instantly, but I couldn't place her name.  She smiled and I knew where I remembered her from.  This sweet nurse was one of the many nurses who spent what seemed like endless nights chatting with me while I was having my "vacation" on floor 6 at that hospital.  :)  She would come into my room to check on me and make sure I was okay, and she would end up staying there for hours with me.  She will never know what those nights meant to me.  I will never forget the love that I felt from her, and a few other very special nurses at that hospital.  They not only took care of me, but became my friends.  They were some of the last people that I believed I was going to spend my life with.  Those nights when I sent my husband home because he hadn't slept in days, I was alone in that hospital room, and those nurses were my family.  They cared for me like I was their sister.  They loved me like I was their friend, and they touched me so deeply that they will be in my heart forever.  

After she was done doing my IV my husband and I looked at each other to make sure we both knew that it was her.  I looked down at my arm and smiled as a tear fell from my eye.  Those nurses on floor 6 of the LDS hospital in June of 2009 will never know the love that I have for them.  Nate, Paul, Patrick, Cheriee, and so many more I can never thank enough.  

The nurse came to get me to take me into the room to do my endoscopy and my nurse happened to be standing there looking at me.  She kind of smiled and said, "I think I know you."  I looked at her and told her how she knew me and gave her a hug.  I told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her.  She was truly one of my angels at a very hard time in my life.  She spent moments with me that I will treasure forever.

As I kissed my hubby goodbye like I always do before I go into a procedure, I told him how much I loved him and that I would see him in a few minutes.  Then he smiled at me and went into the waiting room.  I walked into the room, got settled into the bed and was a little nervous until my doctor came in.  Instantly my nerves calmed and I was able to focus.  I know this doctor.  I know that he knows me inside and out, and that he would make sure I would be fine.  He walked in, smiled, and said hello.  I felt peace come over me as I knew that he had just prayed in my behalf and his, before he came into this room.  There were many occasions where I talked to this doctor about his process before doing any procedure no matter how big or small.  I knew he had prayed because that is what he does before every one of his procedures.  I always feel calm in his care.  As I laid my head down before they gave me the medicine I said a quick little prayer, and knew everything would be alright.

Everything in the endoscopy turned out great.  Well, I guess as great as it can be.  I haven't been able to eat the last 2 weeks and have felt really nauseated (luckily I could still drink!)  I knew something was wrong, just like I do about every 4 months when it starts to happen.  Sure enough my doctor went down and found that my little tummy had closed up on me again.  He stretched it open for me and I was good as new!  :)  

On my way home with my sweet Davey I was watching the people outside walking, riding their bikes, and going about their daily activities.  We passed the LDS temple and I saw people walking around the square and downtown shopping.  I suddenly felt a little sad because there are so many things that I can't do.  There are times when I feel like I have held my husband back because I can't go for bike rides, I can't walk as far as I once could, I won't be hiking in the gorgeous Utah mountains anytime soon.  I have come to face it that there are just somethings that my little body is not strong enough for anymore.  As I started to tear up I looked at my husband.  He looked at me and smiled.  I looked down at his hand holding mine and it was all I needed to see to know that I have never held him back.  He is exactly where he wants to be.  He's sitting right next to me.  I instantly fell more in love with him then I was the day before, or the day before that.  I have my life, I have my husband, and he has me.  I'm as happy as I could ever wish to be.  I may not have all the strength in the world, but I have all the love that I need.  I have my sweet husband who loves me, and as long as he keeps wanting to be with me I think my life will be totally complete. 

As I sit here tonight typing my blog, and my sweet little hubby is sitting right outside studying I feel whole.  No matter what sickness overcomes me, no matter how many surgeries I have to have, and no matter how many trips or dates or hiking trips I miss, my life is great.  Dave loves me, and that's all I really need.  I truly am the luckiest girl in the world.  I never knew how great my life could be.  Today is a reminder of why I chose to live that day in the hospital.  Today is the reason that I asked God to give me one more day.  As long as I get another 24 hours with my husband, all the pain and suffering in this world is worth it.  So I guess I'll just keep trucking along, and if I don't get to run on the beaches of Hawaii anytime soon, at least I get to walk around the block holding my sweetheart's hand.