Sep 4, 2015

Be Fruitful, Multiply, and Subdue the Earth

As most of you know, I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you follow my blog, you also know that I believe that everyone should have something that brings them hope and comfort in their lives. It doesn't matter what religion, or God, or Mother Earth, that you have faith and hope in. The only thing that's important is that you have your own belief and faith in whatever capacity that may be. That being said, I'm going to talk about a subject that came up in the April 2015 LDS General Conference. I just wanted to prepare you all for that.

Elder Joseph Sitati, gave a talk about the title of this blog post, "Be Fruitful, Multiply, and Subdue the Earth". He taught us that the reason we were commanded to multiply is because it prepares us to be like our Father in Heaven. God loves each of his children here on earth, and those that have yet to come. He loves each of us perfectly and unconditionally. The only way we would be able to gain a knowledge of that love is to have children of our own (however that may be accomplished). Then he said this, "Those that don't have the opportunity to have children on this earth because of something not of their making or will, will have the opportunity to have that blessing in Heaven". That's great and all, but it doesn't ease my aching heart right now. Is that God's fault or my own?

I know my Father in Heaven loves. He tells me so each and everyday with little things that happen in my life. The one part where I question him constantly is why in the hell He refuses to give me children? I know I'm not perfect, and I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm going to make a lot more, but I'm just as loving, and caring as any Mother out there. I don't understand why some women get this blessing/commandment from God, and a lot of us don't. A lot of the times women who don't want to be Mother's at all because of their circumstance in life, still get children. How in the world is that fair?!

As I sat listening to this talk, I prayed for comfort. I prayed to know why I must suffer through this insanely tough trial. That answer came very quickly, and it wasn't something I wanted to hear. My Father in Heaven told me that this is our (all women that have infertility) cross to bear. He gives us trials to strengthen us, and to mold us into the women that we have always been meant to be. It's teaching us that even though we can't bring children into this world, we can still love the children in this world. We can help them, love them, and teach them about their Father's plan for them.

I'm currently a Sunday school teacher in my church. I teach the 16-18 year old young adults. What I have learned by teaching this class, is that I'm able to love these children as if they were my own. The young adults I teach text back and forth with me throughout the week about life, and the lesson that I'll be teaching on Sunday. Those kids (that's what I call everyone) are amazing. I didn't go to church as a teenager. It blows my mind that these 18 year old kids have the faith and knowledge that Jesus came to this earth to atone for their sins, pains, and heartaches. They know He loves them. They KNOW it. That's something that I didn't get until my 20's. 

Before I taught the teenagers, I taught the 3 year old children. That was the class that taught me about love. Those were the sweet angels that touched my heart in a way they will never be able to comprehend. They changed the course of my life for the better. They taught me, in a very small capacity, what the Savior feels towards children. I love each of them more than I can ever express. I still keep in contact with my sweet angels even though I've moved from that city, and I always will. I truly loved them as if they were my own. I have the capacity to be Fruitful, and to teach the children in this world about their Father's plan for them, and the love their Savior has for them. He did bless me with this gift/commandment. He just blessed me with it in a different way than most.

To those of you women that are heartbroken, sad, angry, depressed, resentful, and just plain pissed off at God; I understand. I know that pain that feels your heart every time someone in your family has a new baby. I understand how badly you hate to go to baby showers, and sometimes you simply just can't show up. I know the anger that you have in your heart with each month that goes by and you don't get pregnant. I know how horrible fertility drugs are, and how devastating it is when they don't work. I get it. I know your heart. I know your pain. I know your anger. I want YOU to know that I love you, and I'm always here for you.

The pain that we feel by not being able to carry our own children is often unbearable. Their is someone that can ease that pain, and cure your aching heart. Your Savior, Jesus Christ came to this earth, bled in the garden, and died on the cross for that exact reason. The atonement wasn't just meant for the sins we commit, or grace from our Father. The atonement was to heal all aches (physically, emotionally, and mentally), all pains, all heartbreaks, and all anger.

Your Savior can ease your heart and soul. I know this because he does it for me all the time. Does that mean that you're never going to hurt again? Of course not. You'll hurt for the rest of your life, but through that hurt and pain, know that your heart can be healed. Your broken heart can be mended, and you will be able to feel of your Saviors love as he sends you the peace you ask for. Remember, "Ask and ye shall Receive". That's a promise from our loving Heavenly Father. Ask for that comfort in the name of Jesus Christ, and he will send it. I promise.

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