Project Semicolon

 I don't know what a semicolon means to you, but to me it stands for something far more important that a simple punctuation.

Most of you that read my blog know that I have Bipolar I Disorder. What does that mean? Well, it means way too much to get into right now, but part of it means that I get depressed. At times, suicidal.

Before I was diagnosed with this disease I didn't know what was going on inside my brain. I knew I was different, but I didn't know why. At age 16, 18, and 22, I had to be put in a psychiatric hospital because I had either attempted suicide, or knew I wasn't safe alone. These were some of the most hard, trying, and lonely, times of my life.

I got diagnosed with Bipolar I at age 18. Even after being on medication I became suicidal (my medication wasn't working correctly). I isolated myself, and shut the world out. I sunk lower and lower than I ever imagined possible. I finally got to a place that was so dark, and empty, that I became completely numb. If you've been there, you know that feeling anything is better than feeling nothing at all.

I had left early one morning, walked up this mountain and came to a cliff. I sat there talking to God and making peace before I jumped. I knew how much he loved me, and I knew he'd understand. No one deserved to feel this way. If anyone knew how this felt, they wouldn't ask me to keep going. As I stepped onto the edge of that cliff, an angel in the form of an inspired woman stopped me. She literally talked me off the ledge.

I didn't how I was going to get better, but while in the hospital I found some hope. I still wanted to die, but I also wanted to LIVE. I knew that if I could hold onto that hope, I might have a chance.

Over 10 years have come and gone since that moment. I've spoken to schools, on Oprah, to mental health professionals, newspapers, and government agencies, all over America, with the hope of getting medical coverage for mental illness, AND letting people know that they can learn to live again. I promise, it is possible to come back from suicide. It is possible to truly Live Again.

A few years back I lost one of my best friends, along with my uncle to suicide. It's been my mission from that point on to teach everyone I can that you can learn to love life again, and that it's okay to struggle. It's okay to ask for help, and it's even more okay to accept it.

If you know or think someone is struggling but don't know what to do, simply reach out. Send a text, an email, a phone call, a card, ANYTHING. Be a Savior to someone. You never know what an impact it will make if you don't Try.

YOU CAN SAVE A LIFE (just like mine).